Quitting Porn

Quitting porn is possible!

By Cindy Pierce
5.14.21

Many college students feel concerned about the number of years they have viewed porn regularly and how it has impacted their ideas about sexuality. Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED) is the most common concern I hear from college men. The fictional sex scenarios created by the porn contribute to unrealistic sexual and physical expectations for viewers. Many teens suffer feelings of sexual inadequacy because their bodies, genitals and sexual experiences don’t match what they see in porn.

The porn industry intentionally capitalizes on the fact that most people of all gender identities have some level of curiosity about nudity and sexuality, College students, particularly men report that banter about porn is constant on social media, through texts and conversations, which not only normalizes viewing porn but also creates pressure to check out specific videos.

Masturbation is healthy and normal for all genders. However, masturbating with porn creates a strong association between feelings of pleasure and the sexual content you see in porn. The number one priority of the porn industry is to bring you back to their sites regularly. By watching a lot of porn, you train your brain to respond to porn. For more details, studies and more information check out: Your Brain On Porn

There is increasing concern among young people about how challenging it is to break the habit of masturbating with porn. But there is hope! You can retrain your brain by not watching porn.

Below you will find tips, strategies and ideas to motivate you to create fantasies using your own imagination, rather than relying on porn. While that may seem impossible to you right now, research has confirmed that, with intentional practice, you can successfully retrain your brain and find success.

Is it possible to masturbate without porn?

  • Quitting porn does not mean quitting masturbation. It may take effort and vigilance to learn to masturbate without watching porn, but plenty of people have done it. (see Reboot Nation Success Stories)
  • Masturbating while watching Internet porn became more common when personal laptops enabled private access to and increased demand for Internet porn. Cell phones provide more private and easy access to Internet content.
  • Consider that over the millennia, people masturbated with gusto without access or with limited access to porn on the Internet, on VCR tapes, in magazines, in photos, in drawings and even in etchings on cave walls. All they had was their imagination.
  • Masturbation is a life-long practice, both for people who are single and for those who have a partner.

What do you need to do to quit looking at porn?

  • Quitting porn is hard. Support and guidance are available and can be helpful. The Reward Foundation – Quitting Porn
  • Quitting porn is an investment in healthier and more satisfying sexual relationships in your future.
  • A first step is to realize and accept that porn can lead to mental, physical, health and social issues. It is possible to rewire your brain (in essence, strengthen other neural pathways) when you stop looking at porn and stop fantasizing about what you used to see in porn. With practice, you can increase your ability to use your imagination to generate sexual fantasies. Check out this short video Neuroplasticity to help you understand how you can change any habit.
  • It is important to seek reliable resources to help you quit porn (see the list below).
  • Many of the most helpful resources are online. But, if being on a device is a trigger, set up a plan to avoid being distracted by the porn you are habitually drawn to. Set a goal with a time limit and a restriction on what tabs you can open so that you are able to step away from the device once you’ve found the information you need from reliable resources. In the words of the experts from Reboot Nation: “Learn your triggers; avoid them and replace them.”
  • “Cutting back” doesn’t work with most compulsive behaviors and actually prolongs the behavior. Taking a few days off of porn does not prove that you don’t have a problem. When you watch porn again, the same issues will resurface.
  • When you give up porn, it is common to experience withdrawal symptoms such as depression, headaches, anxiety, foggy brain and feeling emotional. These will subside over time if you can stick with your new routine.

How long does it take to quit porn and what will change for me?

  • Being porn-free for four or five months is usually what is required to create a healthy sexual response cycle for people under 26 years old whose brains are still developing.
  • By watching a lot of porn, you train your brain to respond to porn. You can also retrain your brain to masturbate with your imagination.
  • Teenage boys and young men often tell me that their sexual imagination disappeared once they started watching porn regularly. Everyone can change their mind, and their habits, if they are motivated and willing to practice.
  • If you watch a lot of porn and aren’t yet convinced that quitting porn is possible or beneficial, it is worth doing a ten-day trial of masturbating without porn. A ten-day porn detox is usually enough time to get a taste of positive changes that could motivate you to quit porn altogether.
  • Make plans for healthy activities and social interactions to replace the times you usually spend looking at porn. When you go online to do school work, attend online classes or socialize, keep track of how challenging it is to avoid porn.

What are the benefits of quitting porn?

  • Teen boys who quit porn report these common positive changes: improved erectile function; better focus in school and on homework; increased energy for activities besides masturbation; improved ability to generate fantasies from your imagination; decreased depression; and increased interaction with friends and family.
  • Once you stop looking at porn, you will start to have fantasies and sexual thoughts that align more closely with your true sexual desires and interests rather than those created by porn. It is possible to retrain your sexual response cycle.

Who can help me quit porn?

  • Ask a parent or an anchoring adult in your life about finding medically accurate information about sexuality. Discussing sexual topics will feel awkward at first, but these conversations get easier with practice.
  • Adults in your life may feel reluctant to discuss masturbation with you because they don’t want you to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Believe it or not, some adults would like to share accurate information and resources with you but wait for you to ask.

What resources are available to help young people quit porn?

Resources for accurate information to answer your questions about sexuality

How Porn Skews Sexual Expectations
By Cindy Pierce TEDxKenmoreSquare

Books by Cindy

Sexploitation: Helping Kids Develop Healthy Sexuality in a Porn-Driven World

Sex, College and Social Media: A Commonsense Guide to Navigating the Hookup Culture

Special thanks to Nicola Smith for her keen eye in editing.